New Shoes and a Kick in the Ass

The title of this post pretty much says it all. The new shoes got me out the door and a constant kick in the ass (from me) kept me going.

My shoes arrived yesterday (finally!) and today was the first time I was able to try them out, which is the main reason I forced myself into running clothes and outside to hit the pavement. I won't lie, this run was painful. I had little desire to get out there in the first place, let alone knock out a seven- to eight-mile quality run according to my training program. The nonstop mental battle was an added obstacle throughout a majority of the the six and a half miles that I ended up finishing. It was one of those runs where no matter how deep you dig for inspiration or motivation you come out with an empty hand and the bad guy on your shoulder telling you to just stop. I just felt heavy today too, like I was carrying another couple legs on my hips and a few pounds of led in my stomach. These are the runs where you just run to get it over with, you just run because your training program tells you that's what you should do. Nike would say, Just Do It ... I would have probably added a choice word in there.

I got a little over five miles and that so-called extra weight was telling me to give up. Then I figured I mine as well run off those extra additions while I'm at it. Who knows where that jolt of minor motivation sprung up from. I ended up at my apartment around six and a half miles and that was good enough for today. Even though there are the runs that always start off with nothing but negativity, it always (ALWAYS) feels good to finish a workout. On another somewhat positive note - I loved my shoes! AND ... I did run with an average 8:30min./mile pace, which was a lot better than I'd anticipated ending up with.

This is something I try to think of when I come up unsuccessful when looking for motivation ...

"Everyone would rather party, or even veg out... instead of buckling down. That's the easy path. Being a true rebel nowadays means embracing responsibility with gusto and energy. The last rebellious act, really, is to COMMIT TO SUCCESS, no. matter. what."

Big Adjustments

Pacing myself. Yup - that's been tough to get used to. Like I've said before, I've always been told to go fast and faster. Now, I have to mentally tell myself, It's okay I'm not making a certain time ... it's okay to get passed, in the beginning at least. Hey - I'm still competitive. You don't want to be the one challenging me near the end of a race. During my marathon training (and half-marathon too, I guess) I've begun my long runs at a painfully slow pace and then my body just naturally picks up a comfortable speed. Hopefully my recent investment, the Garmin Forerunner 205, will help me gauge a good speed for me. I'm still eagerly waiting for it to arrive, but I am thrilled to not have to map a run online first and then having to stick to that route. I'll have mileage, pace and calories burnt (among other features) right there on my wrist. If you do have to map a run, I recommend Map My Run. It's free and very simple to use.

And then there's my other biggest adjustment ... being an individual and not a part of a team. Maybe this is why pace has been such a hard part of competitive running for me to adapt to. I am running for me and I don't have others depending on me. When I played field hockey for IU, I ran so I wouldn't let down my teammates, so my team as a whole would get better. I hustled for a ball so that my team had a better chance in succeeding. I sprinted in recovery to help my defense against the opponent's attack. I was constantly communicating, organizing and motivating a group of girls that were in it together. Now it's all about me. I'm trying to get in my own head and play the mental game. Come on Mere, only a few more miles. You feel great. You can do it. Of course, the other guy gets in my head and cuts me off towards the end of those long runs, What the hell are you talking about?! Your legs are deader than a mouse in a snake cage! There is a brick wall in front of you! The hard part about that is - sometimes the other guy is a little more accurate in how I'm feeling. I've had to actively block it out and stick to my goals.

Again, when I played FH I went to practice because I had to, I lifted when I was told to, I ran to fill the requirement. Of course I loved it. I worked hard, I held people accountable and I pushed my teammates. But now I do this because I WANT to. I run to color in a blank page in my life that most other things can't, at least not with as vibrant of colors. It's my ME time. What I find most engaging about the sport: you can quit it you want, no one else cares if you hit the road that day ... but you get out there because it's part of you. I like that. I'm addicted to that.